OK, so Jayson and I have been discussing (read: debating, agonizing, obsessing) about a second child. We thought we were all ready. I had an appointment to "pull the Goalie" so to speak on Wednesday. We've been talking alot about it for the past couple weeks, but the past couple weeks Evy has been very challenging. I know it's the three year thing (whoever said "Terrible Twos" had NO IDEA what they were talking about!) but it's been exhausting us. It's been difficult to see past the moment to the larger picture, and we've both had a hard time pin-pointing our true feelings about the matter.
Then, Tuesday night we headed up to bed. When we reached the top of the stairs, the light in Evy's room was on. (Keep in mind, please, that it's MIDNIGHT!) Three hours she'd been in her room (presumably asleep) reading books and changing her clothes. When I asked her why she was playing when she was supposed to be sleeping, she responded, "I wasn't playing mom, I'm just changing my clothes and reading."
!?!?!
We emptied her entire room, punished her, and put her (back) to bed.
A little while later, Jayson and I were in bed. I was sad over the sorrow and remorse of my suddenly especially little girl, and we were both exhausted. "So how do you feel about that second one now?" Jayson asked. I expressed a little apprehension and he ran with it. the conversation ended with Jayson asking me to cancel my appointment.
Now, anyone who's talked to me knows how on-the-fence I've been about this whole baby dilema but once he said that, sorrow washed over me. It was only after the decision had been made that I realized how I truly felt: I really am ready.
Except Jayson really isn't.
*sigh*
So now we just wait for God's perfect timing.
Do you think he could send us a letter when it's time???
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
4 comments:
Oh Mindy, these places in life are never easy. I think the decision about when to have children and how many to have is one of the most difficult, even when you and your spouse are on the same page. But when your not...it's a nightmare. I have been here, still am in some ways. Let me know if you ever want to talk. I will be praying for all of you.
This, my beloved cousin and friend, is the reason Elliott is four and one half years older than Noah;)
So???? Help? I'm caught in the "mention it/leave it alone/ignore it/badger about it....cycle. (having so far done none of the above but rather obsess internally about it)and tips? Anyone?
Andy and I went through so many phases (he wanted one when I wasn’t ready, I wanted another one when he wasn’t ready, and so on). We are two of the most anal-retentive, “5-year goal-ers”, long term planners there ever was. (We have to be - Andy hates change and I am extremely impulsive). In the end, God had both gentle and not-so-gentle ways of reminding us that it wasn’t entirely our decision. Without going into too much detail, we went through a series of house-for-sale signs and job lay-off’s before finally realizing we were supposed to hang on a bit (Noah was going to happen a year earlier).
Individually, neither you or Jayson will be 100% ready for another baby. There will be a time, however, when all of you (above and below) are ready to take the chance together.
Post a Comment