At this point I don't know whether it's a cry out into the blogging world, or up to heaven itself. It's after 2am. I have been in a battle of the wills with my son since 11:30pm. Really, the battle has been truly raging for the better part of a month.
He will not sleep.
He is currently stomping his feet, knocking--slamming--on his door with his face right up to the crack crying and shouting "MOMMA!!! MOM!!!! MOMMA!!! MAHHHHH! MAAAHHHHH!
I was at my wits end days ago.
Evy is up every night at least once or twice slipping into our bed on the premise of some nightmare (the baddest of all bad) which I'm sure has something to do with being woken up by the latest edition of Extreme Bedtime Tantrum playing next door.
Jayson is down the basement sleeping because he was also at his wits end days ago and is at as much a loss as I am as to what to do.
I've tried the crying it out idea. I've tried the rocking until almost asleep. I've tried to rock to sleep and then transfer. I've tried the water, the blankee, the cup, the music. I've tried placing him again and again (and again) back in to his bed. I've tried staying in the bed with him. I've tried leaving the room, I've tried staying in the room. I've tried beside the bed. I've tried systematically backing up from the bed. I've tried being outside the room. I've tried assembling the pack 'n play and putting him in there to sleep (he was out in under 10 seconds). I've tried being firm. I've tried being loving. I've tried being consistent.
Now I know you may be scoffing at that last one, but I've had LOTS and LOTS of time to try it out. If you'll refer back to this post you will realize that we've been at this more or less since mid-October.
That's two months. 52 days multiplied by 2 times per day an attempt at Henry sleep is made, adding up to ONE HUNDRED AND FOUR times Henry has fallen asleep on the floor pressed up against his bedroom door after having had at least some degree of a fit.
The whole "cry it out" deal was our old stand by for Evy, and she was a wonderful sleeper. But with HOS the problem has become that we struggle for a minimum of two hours at least once, usually twice a night. Then we're up (as a very grumpy family, I might add!) for a few hours and the whole process begins again for his nap. After at least another two hour fit he either drops from exhaustion, OR (as usually happens) he's spent so long having the fit that I have to get him out of his room to go pick up Evy. We get home, have dinner and begin the screaming fit again at bedtime. That can all add up to 4-6 HOURS of baby screaming a night. Which, I might add, would be a very extremely effective form of torture.
help?
anyone?
Our Four Crazy Characters
We've got a dog, too--Oh wait...not any more.
Who, Me?
- Mindy
- (the not so) Midwest
- I've got two kids who do funny things and a husband I adore (and the dog we don't speak of). I've got a Jesus I love. I've got some thoughts. I've got some things to say.
7 comments:
All I can say is...wow. And remind yourself of this...his fierce determination will one day make him a fantastic adult...if of course, he survives that long! Wish I had some advice, hang in there!
Oh, Mindy, I wish I had advice. When I was little and my brother was crying all the time, I apparently said to my Grandpa, "why don't we get a gun and shoot the little bugger?" I don't stand by that advice any more. Come on, blogger world, help my friend Mindy!
I don't have any real advice either. The thing I hear from everyone regarding strong-willed issues is: Stay strong, stay consistent. And obviously, you're doing that already.
Have you ever read The Baby Whisperer for Toddlers? (Not sure of the exact title.) I think her approach to child-rearing is spot-on. Maybe you should see if that book is in the library, and check out her advice.
Praying for you. This has got to be incredibly frustrating and exhausting.
I feel for you cuz. We went through a less intense version of what you're going through w/ Noah.
I hated not having a solid discipline/incentive method. Part of you thinks they're too young to understand it and another part thinks it's worth a shot (it is!)
Here's my advice:
1. Take HOS on a special mommy/son shopping trip to buy a new lamp/nightlight you will call "mr. sleepy"; make it known that this is a very big deal and he is a very big boy to receive a Mr. Sleepy.
2. Prepare and forewarn HOS of his duties. Something like: "Once Mr. Sleepy is turned on, we can only whisper, gives kisses and go night-night." Further inform him that Mr. Sleepy cannot stay in his bedroom if he breaks the whisper/kiss/night-night rule.
Maybe even let him know that you're going to check on him "in a little bit" to ensure that Mr. Sleepy's rules aren't being broken will assure him you're not far away.
I feel your pain and I am dismally aware that this will be my fate once again some day soon. Please let me know what eventually does end up working. Until then, caffeinate and know that you'll be over this hump very very soon.
Wow, wow, wow! HOS is one tough guy! One thing that we did with Ava when she was having trouble falling asleep was give her three Popsicles sticks. Each time we had to go into her room we took one away. When the last one is gone, we wouldn't go back in the room at all, crying Ava or not.
I know you have literally tried everything at this point...Mindy you are such a trooper. I had no idea the screaming was still going on. My only advice that you might have already tried is to just drop the nap. I know Henry is young, but we had to do a similar thing for Zoe. She got to a point around the age that Henry is that in order for her to go to sleep at night, we had to keep her up throughout the day. It makes for an extremely sleepy and sometimes crabby toddler at dinner/night time for a bit, but Zoe got used to it fast and it was a life saver. I HATED giving up that afternoon break, but the stress free evening was well worth it. Hang in there! Let's do coffee soon.
Mindy I am so sad for you and your family going through this experience! I will remeber to pray for you especially in my middle of the night feedings! If I remember correctly- doesn't your mother in law live next door? Maybe Henry could pack a little suitcase and try sleeping at Grandma's house? Maybe a change of scenery would help?
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