Do you guys remember that Caedmon's Call song from their first album? That's me. The Bus Driver.
Now, I'm trying to have a new outlook on the whole Grandma situation, so I probably shouldn't even be typing this, but I need something to blog about. And farnkly, it's just really bugging me. I picked up Gram today to get her blood drawn (a weekly drive to Brighton). She used the LETS bus last week, and I was really proud of her. But she called over the weekend and said she'd forgotten to call and schedule it and could I take her. I said of course, that's fine. (Wondering if the LETS bus doesn't run on the weekends or if the office wasn't open or why it wasn't ok for her to call Saturday for a Monday pick up, I decided she was probably just lying, and really just wanted me to take her. "NO BIG DEAL." I tell myself. "That doesn't really matter. I can take her.")
Fast Forward to Monday. She comes into the car and we're off.
"Are you doing anything extra special today?" she asks.
"Nothing special," I say, "Just a lot of house work and laundry."
"Would you mind taking me on an errand then?" (she asks this pretty much--not pretty much--every time I see her.)
"Yeah, I can do that," I'm slightly annoyed, but trying to remember my new grandma motto taken from Oswald Chambers "being noble is always difficult."
Then she starts her list:
"I have to get a new watch battery for my watch, (She pulls one of 4 out of her purse and explains them all to me and why she needs another battery.) And I have to go return some pants at Elder Bearman."
I'm thinking this isn't too bad. Then a few minutes later she adds,
"Oh, and I've got to stop by the bank and cash some checks, too."
fine. fine.
As soon as she get's her blood drawn we pause for a quick trip to the gas station ($47.00 CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT'S WHAT IT TOOK TO FILL MY TANK?!?!) I get back in the car and Gram says, "Oh, and don't let me forget, we have to stop by Kroger and get my perscriptions."
(yes, that's errand number FIVE for those of you counting!)
Now, she was suppoed to have these perscriptions delivered, because the pharmacy delivers to her place for FREE and we already talked about her getting them delivered. Again, she says she forgot to tell them and they couldn't over the weekend and now it's too late. (Another lie: she could just call today and ask them and they'd deliver them by tomorrow.--NO big deal. No big deal. I'm chanting to myself.)
Evy say's she's hungry and Grandma says "well, maybe your mom will take us to stop for lunch." HELLO??? I'm already doing every errand you can possibly think of! I don't have time to stop for stinking lunch!
As we're in the car finishing the marathon with a stop to Kroger (2 1/2 hours later) she starts this tirade about "those orientials" and how she hates them and that they can't even read our street signs and shouldn't be aloud interpreters yada yada yada. I asked her to please not say that stuff around me, it bothers me and she responds with "well what bothers me is that they don't have to learn our language to live in our country." three times I asked her not to share those kinds of opinions because they bother me, and three times she starts in with the "well what bothers me" phrase. Finally I asked: "PLEASE! GRAM. I asked you to not talk about that around me. Think whatever you want, but just don't talk about it to me."
"well..."
I'm think I'm going to need some bolstering up of my new Grandma outlook.
Our Four Crazy Characters
We've got a dog, too--Oh wait...not any more.
Who, Me?
- Mindy
- (the not so) Midwest
- I've got two kids who do funny things and a husband I adore (and the dog we don't speak of). I've got a Jesus I love. I've got some thoughts. I've got some things to say.
8 comments:
m~
well in every sentence you wrote i could here my own grandmother.... and with each word i could feel the familiar feeling of my own blood boiling because of these same moments spent with an elderly woman in the heat of new mexico...
hang in there, my friend....
i meant what i said to you a long time ago, i would be happy to help with your grandmother.... anything...
and my advice (i don't think it's unnoble or disnoble or whatever) is to tell her "if you don't get the prescriptions delivered, find a new way to get there.... if you can't take the LETS bus, then find someone else to take you BECAUSE i love you and am glad you are here, but i have things i have to do too. these are services provided FOR YOU, no one is around to do MY THINGS for me......
it sounds harsh but its really not, and she knows that is the truth but like a child, she manipulates because she can....
I am beside myself that grandmothers like these actually exist. They're supposed to be sweet, smell like apple pie and in my case, teach us how to swallow air and burp! (Anyway...) I think this tango you two have been dancing will be of great service to your own growth & character. Your learning so much about yourself, your limitations and how to weave grace into the outcome. The patience you have been challenged to dig up will certainly come in handy as you chase around Evy and "the bump"!
I agree with everyone above...hang in there. And just as a funny side note, I like the word farnkly. I am going to try to use it soon. ;-)
Oh Little Sister, I can only tell you that you are not alone in this trying time with Grandma. I know it sounds stupid but if she didn't like (love) you she wouldn't try to find SO many excuses to see you. Not very comforting I know, sorry. Hang in there. Maybe you could give her a reminder call to set up to LETS bus instead of ending up having to drag her around town :)
LOVE YOU!!!!
The next time you are out, you should make some comment like, "Oh, they should take licenses from every old person...no one over the age of 55 should be allowed to drive". Or "Shouldn't that 75 year old be in a home or something". Then see if she reacts and remind her of how ridiculous her comments are about others.
If only it were so simple huh?
Thank you all for your kind words. Kelli, this morning as I was brushing my teeth I was playing out your scenario in my mind. How I would love it!!!
Sorry about the double-post but I have to say to Kelli: you're a witty wise woman! (Keep that one in your back pocket Min!)
yeah, when she says it bothers her you say "What bothers me is how old people smell"...I was going to put that in there yesterday, but I forgot.
I hope you're not offended. I don't know your grandma, so this isn't about her...I just find it funny. Of course, I am not in your shoes...or I would probably find it funnier yet. have a good day!
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